Moving And Mental Health

Having struggled with mental health in the past and still struggling on a weekly basis, I know exactly what a lot of people are going through. And whilst it is different for each individual, I guess that it kind of feels similar. I have been through all kinds of therapies and months of talking to therapists with no results. Again I don’t say that it’s the same for everyone but for me it was definitely useless. I just can’t talk about my feelings to a person I barely know and that is basically a stranger to me. It feels odd and uncomfortable. 

In the last 7 months, I have been through so much self-growth and I feel like a new person. The move to London has been my ‘therapy’. It has helped massively to break the cycle that I have been stuck in for so long. Feeling like I will never be able to climb out of the hole. But London has given me the ladder to get out. I don’t say that the journey was easy. There have definitely been a lot of downs and still are. I can guarantee that I still have days where I feel drained and like I don’t want to do anything or just can’t. I often have the impression that I am useless and that I have achieved nothing whilst being here. Feeling like I am a hopeless wreck, a heavyweight for everyone knowing me. 

It has been worse when I lived at home though, always feeling like I don’t belong there. That I was too different and nobody understands me. Feeling lonely even though I was with my family and friends. It was a different kind of lonely though, as if nobody gets you. Which obviously wasn’t the case but you know how your mind can play tricks on you. We have probably all been there. 

Changing environments and starting from scratch somewhere else has been a huge help for me. Building a new, healthier routine is so beneficial if you feel like you aren’t doing any progress and going through the same day again and again. Living in the same place where you were feeling stuck is just constantly going to remind you of your ‘bad’ days. It is very hard to get out of the rut when you’re reminded of these moments on a daily basis. I am not saying that it is impossible but it will take a lot of dedication and hard work. 

The move has been the best thing that could have happened to me in the last year. As I said above, I have made huge steps that I would never have been able to do if I had stayed at home. I really feel like a different person, with more confidence and less anxiety. It’s still a daily battle, making efforts every single day and fighting for my freedom, to reduce the ‘bad’ days. But over the last few months I have made so much more progress than I have done over the last couple of years and it is something I think I can be quite proud of. Seeing that you can change your mindset and that you are the master of your own thoughts is a huge motivation to stay on this path.